Work Safety Jokes

Laughing at a Meeting

Although workplace safety is serious business, a little humor can go a long way toward getting the point across. More importantly, laughter often helps unite people who labor together into a cohesive, safety-focused team. A well-told workplace safety joke can be a great icebreaker at a safety seminar or presentation.

Workplace Laughs

These original workplace safety jokes that can be adapted as needed to fit any work setting.

Ouch!

A man walked into a bar. When he woke up, his boss said, "Next time look where you're going."

Look Who's Knocking?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Acci.

Acci who?

Acci-dent.

What are you doing here?

Waiting to happen.

Equipment Safety

A worker accidently sliced off all of his fingers. Refusing to panic, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and carefully picked up his fingers with his lips, hoping they could be reattached.

The paramedics arrived to see the man standing there with 10 fingers protruding from his mouth. As they headed to the hospital, the driver asked his partner how the man was doing.

"Oh, he's fine," the paramedic said, "but you better floor it. I don't know how long before the guy he swallowed suffocates."

Fore!

With total disregard for everyone's safety and peace of mind, Jack spent hours at work hitting real golf balls against the wall in his office as he tried to correct his tendency to slice the ball.

One day a new employee, who didn't know about Jack's habit, opened the door to Jack's office to ask him a question. Jack swung his club; the ball came flying off the tee, hit the worker in the head and knocked him out.

"Jack!" another worker cried. "What have you done?"

"Not sure," Jack said, "but whatever it was fixed that nasty slice."

No Loitering

As he arrived at the construction site, the foreman noticed a man lying on the ground with his eyes closed.

"Hey, you. Wake up and get out of here. We don't allow loitering," he barked as he went inside.

The man moaned but didn't move.

At lunchtime, the foreman noticed the man still lying on the ground, barely moving.

"I told you to leave," he snapped. "This is a construction site. Now move!"

The man just moaned some more.

At the end of the day, as the foreman came out to go home, the man was sitting up, but still hadn't moved from the spot.

"All right, enough is enough" the foreman said. "I'm calling the police. Where are you from?"

The man pointed up. "The roof," he said.

Safety First

Tom's tyrant boss called him in and said, "Tom, you have been complaining that the company doesn't do enough when it comes to safety. What would you like to see us do?"

Afraid, but seeing his chance, Tom squared his shoulders and said, "Sir, I think we should have two paid days of safety training every month, brand new ergonomic office furniture, and a fully stocked organic dining room with a health and fitness coach at our disposal."

Without blinking an eye, Tom's boss said, "Tom, what would you say if I gave you everything you just asked for and threw in a 20 thousand dollar bonus for coming up with the idea?"

Tom gasped. "Are you joking?" he asked.

"Of course," said his boss, "Aren't you?"

Find More Safety Jokes

  • Guy-Sports.com includes several images of less-than-safe workplace practices. It also has a PowerPoint presentation featuring a number of photos that demonstrate how not to stay safe at work. This material would be a great starting point for a number of safety discussions that start with, "What's wrong with this picture?"
  • An archive of work safety jokes can be found on Safetyphoto.com. Scroll down the list to see a variety of items dealing with many aspects of workplace health and safety.
  • If you are looking for cartoons for a safety presentation, check out Glasbergen.com. Be advised, this is a commercial site and the cartoons are for sale. Prices are not listed. Interested parties need to contact the artist for an individualized quote.
  • The Easy Safety School blog features a number of original safety-related slogans and quotes, most of them humorous.

Laugh and Learn

An effective safety joke provides readers and listeners with a good laugh without eroding the underlying message. Every workplace has hazards. Managers and employees alike need to know what these hazards are and address them. To do this with a sense of humor helps workers retain focus and relax as they learn the importance of workplace safety.

Work Safety Jokes