Safety Jokes

glassblower in protective workwear

While safety is no laughing matter, the use of jokes to drive home messages can make people pay better attention and help them remember the tips longer. From cartoons to knock knock jokes, you can display or read funny phrases and sayings at work, school, or home.

Jokes About Safety

Safety facts serve as the inspiration behind these one-liners and jokes poking fun at general safety practices.

Safety in Numbers?

Three young women are walking home late at night. The first says "We should split up that way if someone attacks, one of us will be free to get help." The second says "We should stay together, that way if someone attacks we can fight him off better." The third girl says "If I knew you two were planning to get attacked, I would've never agreed to walk home with you!"

Safe to Cross

Why did the crossing guard cross the street? Because that's his job!

Where's the Fire?

A fire extinguisher and smoke detector walk into a bar. The bartender looks around then says "Hey guys, where's the fire?"

One, Two Punch

Following safety rules is like boxing; if you keep you're guard up, you're less likely to get hit in the face!

Ladder Safety

Things you shouldn't use in place of a ladder: rope, indoor potted tree, stacked chairs, human pyramid.

Keep It to Yourself

Things you should never yell during an emergency: Run! Move! My life is more important than yours!

Walking Hazard

What do you call a guy who falls down all the time? Tripp

Evolution of Man

Watching a group of guys lift boxes is like watching the evolution of man, except the upright guy isn't the most advanced.

Who's Hurt?

Knock Knock. Who's There? Eye Wash. Eye Wash Who? The girl with the chemicals in her eyes, duh!

Playing Around

An elementary class is visiting the farm for a field trip. The teacher goes over the rules and says "Horseplay is dangerous, so it's not allowed here." One of the kids raises his hand and asks, "Then what do horses do for fun?"

More Funny Sayings

If these jokes don't fit your needs, there are tons of specific and general safety jokes online.

  • Road Closed
    Grantland focuses on cartoons for businesses of all types. They have more than 3,000 cartoons in their archives and will customize an existing cartoon for you.
  • Safetyjoke offers dozens of general safety jokes of different lengths.
  • Funny workplace safety tips include catchy or rhyming phrases about specific safety practices.
  • For quick, witty one-liners check out funny safety slogans.
  • If you need images to accompany jokes in presentations or handouts, add funny workplace safety pictures.
  • Work safety jokes are great for the workplace and can be modified to fit general situations.

Serious Humor

Jokes and funny sayings make light of serious topics which can help in conveying important messages. Safety topics should be taken seriously, but they can also include bits of humor.

Safety Jokes