Impact of Cyber Bullying

The Harshest Impact of Cyber Bullying

Many parents worry about their kids spending time on the Internet. However, research shows that most parents aren’t thinking about cyber bullies; most are more concerned with their child coming across a pornography Web site. An article at middleweb.com shows that cyber bullying should be at the top of every parents watch list. The article’s disturbing opening paragraph follows:

"Only after Ryan Halligan hanged himself did his father realize what the 13-year-old had been doing online. Through three months' worth of links and instant messages saved on his home computer, Ryan's growing pain - and the callousness of his online tormentors - became clear. 'You're a loser,' one message jabbed. There were other taunts, Web searches on suicide, and, ultimately, threats to kill himself to get back at school bullies. 'Tonight's the night,' Ryan finally typed. 'It's about time,' the screen replied."

This nightmare situation continued after Ryan’s death on October 7, 2003, when his father, after clicking on his son’s saved links, found months of horrible messages directed to Ryan.

Teen Reactions to Cyber Bullying

Ryan’s situation was extreme but sadly, not an isolated case. Cyber bullying is a huge deal to the youth experiencing it. They can often feel even more alone than if the bullying was occurring in person. At least with non-cyber bullying, someone may hear something or see something and possibly help. Cyber bullying can be terrifying because it is such an isolated experience for the victim.

Internet safety for teens is very important. Youth who are cyber bullied experience an array of emotions, none of them positive. Research shows teens who are cyber bullied report feeling:

• Angry
• Depressed
• Embarrassed
• Scared for their safety
• Scared for their life

These varying emotions can make a youth act out in different ways such as:

• They may seek revenge on the bully.
• They could start avoiding others, including friends, family, school and other activities.
• Sometimes victims become bullies themselves in order to feel more powerful and less hurt.

In a worst case scenario, such as Ryan’s, a youth feels so depressed and angry that their feelings turn to thoughts of revenge by “making the bully sorry.”

How to Stop Cyber Bullies

There are many steps that can be taken that may lesson or stop the impact of cyber bullying on a teen victim.

Steps Parents Can Take

• Install parental computer monitoring software on each home computer.
• Be diligent and check out who your kids are chatting with often.
• Let your teen know that you will be checking out what sites they’re visiting and with whom they’re chatting.
• Let them know that you won’t stand for them being a cyber bully.
• Make sure they know the statistics about cyber bullying.

This isn’t about respecting your teen’s privacy. Yes, teens deserve some private time. Computer time is not one of those times. If you’re feeling bad about checking in on what your teen is doing; don’t. You are not a spy, you’re taking a stand against a situation that has clearly gotten out of hand in the lives of some teens. Still feel guilty? Think about Ryan’s dad. There are worse things than responsibly checking in on your teen’s computer use.

Steps Teens Can Take

Parent should discuss the following steps with teens. These steps allow a teen to be in charge of their personal Internet safety and stop the impact of cyber bullying cold:

• Block communication with any cyber bully.
• Delete messages you know are from a cyber bully. You don’t have to read them. Although, if you continue to get messages from a bully start to save them and show them to an adult.
• Talk to a friend, parent, teacher or school counselor about the bullying.
• Report cyber bullies to an Internet service provider and especially to a Web site moderator.
• Don’t respond back – bullies are looking for and love an emotional reaction.

Helpful Resources

Check out the following resources to learn more about preventing cyber bullying:

• The National Crime Prevention Counsel provides information about stopping cyber bullying before it starts.
• MySpace Safety is a great article that discusses this popular cyber teen hangout.
• Stop Cyber Bullying provides information about why some people cyber bully, and how to stop yourself from cyber bullying.
• Wired Safety gives information about what to do if you are cyber bullied.
• Stop Bullying Now has information about what you can do to stop bullying of all kinds.